Otay, actually I am many, many more things. I am a successful career woman, girlfriend to D, a Daughter & Sister, the Domestic Violence is something though that I still live with the effects of.
On the morning of the 26th of March 2016 I would walk into the kitchen, ask for my bank card back, be told I was disrespectful for asking & be beaten up for the last time at his hands. I would make a phone call that would change my life, I finally had the courage to speak up, to let people know, to escape.
Fear would set in, the police would show up, I begged them to leave, I was in ripped bed-clothes, I was bruised & hurting. My friend where on their way, I just wanted to get out. A few moments later they would take him away & the beginning of a hellish few months would start.
I would have things stolen, thousands of pounds of money & items, things destroyed, have to deal with internet-trolls & bullying from grown adults. Stalking & being followed by grown people who had listened to how he acted in “self-defense” & was totally innocent. None of that would matter in the weeks that passed, I got used to living in a house that was dark & empty. Not brave enough to turn lights on, sleeping on friends couches, doing what I could to not be in a house where I was beaten more than once, where my blood was often cleaned from the walls, where items were smashed & repaired so many times it became hard to hide it.
What would happen is months of hospital treatment for the worst injury I had ever received
from him. During a bare-footed kick to my shin, whilst I was backed in a corner, I would develop a 12cm by 12cm hematoma (among a lot of other bruises from that attack). This would take months of blood thinning medications, pain killers, hospital trips & months off work…. excuse the picture there are thankfully only a few that remain around of this time.
What we wouldn’t know is after the trial, after I had started to live & laugh again, I would collapse in a field at a festival. On July 18th… the last selfie at Truck Festival would happen & in a matter of hours I would be fighting for my life in RESUS followed by nearly a month laid up in John Radcliffe, before becoming stable enough to leave the hospital. Whilst there I would be eating in the restaurant when I would find out he was sentenced for a year in total for ABH & other charges for other times…. hardly a small relief for what I was & had just gone through.
What we didn’t know, is that it would start a flare up in my Brittle Asthma. One of which I am still fighting to get under control.
Fast forward now to today, it is the end of March 2017 & because of that blood clot I have been admitted to hospital some 8 times for extended periods of times. All down to the issue that my lungs have been damaged by parts of that clot. I have battled for my life more than once & pumped full of so many drugs it is insane. My boyfriend & family have had to hear as ITU are giving me minutes to pull through before a tube is put down my throat. They have had to see me struggle to breathe & stay calm. I have a rare type of Asthma which I was diagnosed with in 2012, this has rapid onset acute Asthma attacks which are notoriously hard to control. It was for years very under control, now with part of my lung effectively dead & my body weakened from treatments, it is now very much doing it’s own thing, with every attack I become weaker.
My day is now governed by medications…. every 4 hours I need to be able to nebulise to ensure my airways stay open. I take a cocktail of drugs a lot of people would be impressed by, but the side effects drive you crazy. *** Big sorry to family & friends who have seen how much Prenisolone can do to a person. *** I have to live in clean-air & can’t open the windows, often need to be on oxygen & any strong smells can make it impossible for me to breathe. The house has to be as bacteria, dust & allergen free as possible. I can’t go out when the pollen count is too high or when pollution (I live in London, so trust me this is a hard one) is too high or I have to wear a face mask…… not a good look unless you are a ninja.
D & I battle daily with the restrictions, but we know that my mates are beyond awesome, that my work & the company I work for is more than supportive, that most of all… I GOT THIS SH@T. That we are unstoppable & between us all, our families, mates etc, we make awesome teams.
So yeah I might have this Chronic Illness which can on bad days get me down, can cause me to fight for my life. I may sometimes have to change my plans last-minute, but I travel the world, I dance at some of the best concerts, I laugh so much I almost pee myself and I have something much much better…. I can hold my head high, say I survived, kiss the boyfriend on the lips & dance the night away in which ever country I happen to be in at the time.
One year ago, I was afraid, I was a little girl in a lost world, I was living with a monster who made me believe it was all my fault, someone who always had every excuse under the sun. One year ago… I was a mere shadow of who I am today….
My names Lynn & you know what I am AWESOME.